Love Letter To Omni-Man

I tried really hard to write a review of Invincible. I just… I don’t wanna. I wanted to like it… I just don’t. I’d prefer a show called “Omni-Man”, so instead of writing a review, I’ve decided to write a love letter to Omni-Man 

Dear Omni-Man,

You may be the villain of Invincible’s story, but you’re the hero in mine. I LOVED the way you set the so-called “mighty” Guardians of the Globe up for slaughter, and knocked them down like the bowling pins that they were… It was glorious! The strength that you displayed made it exhilarating to watch! The loyalty that you have to your home planet Viltrum is admirable. I love loyalty in a man? … Alien? Creature! I just love when creatures are loyal. You deserve to have that same loyalty returned.

I personally think you need a more understanding wife. Deborah’s not cutting it. You need a wife that understands that you’ve lived far too long to allow yourself to be overly attached to anyone. Especially a fragile pet that ages like warm milk. You need a woman that will take her rightful place as the devoted pet in your life.  

Oh and that son of yours has got to go. You should definitely kill him, and we can make one that looks almost just like him together. We can do what you couldn’t with your EX-wife. We can raise our child in the way of the Viltrumites, so that when the time comes OUR child will understand their duty. 

Omni-Man, I know this letter may come off as a little obsessive, stalkerish, or just plain LoOpy, but I am none of those things. I simply did my research, and realized that you’re in need of a new LOYAL pet, and I’d like for it to be me. 

Forever Yours,

That LoOpy Chick

P.S. Keep that pimp hand strong!

P.P.S. This is a Parody. 

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